Still Reading….

Yep, I’m still reading.  Lots.  Barnes and Noble loves me.  Ok, I love them cuz so much of what I find is free, but still. One book I just finished reading is The Man Whisperer: Speaking Your Man’s Language To Bring Out His Best by Rick Johnson. 

The basic concept of the book is simple – you can’t “change” a man, but as a woman you have a huge ability to influence your man to be the best man he can be. 

Simple concept.  Not always so simple to implement.  However, it is doable and totally worth doing.

In just ten short chapters, Rick Johnson explains how a woman can influence her man for the better and why it is so important not only for her, but for  him as well.  Rather than nag and harass and harangue her man to “change”,  a man-whisperer studies her man and learns his strengths, his fears, his areas of need.  She first learns to understand her man, and rather than simply dismissing the good that is already there she builds on it.  She uses her influence, not her berating to inspire her man to greatness.  She uses her unique womanhood to shore up her man’s areas of weakness with her strength. 

The ten chapters are A Woman’s Whisper, Authentic Masculinity, Nine Qualities of Good Men, Nine Traits That Hold Him Back, Speaking Your Man’s Language, Power Tools for Women, The First Man in Every Woman’s Life, Sex is Not a Weapon, The Top Ten Things About Men That Drive Women Crazy, Using Your Influence Effectively.

Rick Johnson’s style if very light and engaging even when dealing with difficult topics.  He is very readable. He is also very up-front about things pertaining to men/women relationships.  I found that refreshing.

Some of the things he talks about I have read in other publications, but I found a lot of really good, intriguing, new information as well.  I loved how he basically says men are pretty easy to understand and please while women are the more complicated ones in a relationship.  I had to laugh at that because reading through this book, it really is true. 

So, what did I learn?  Men will shut down if you nag or complain or berate them for doing or not doing what you think they should.  They operate much better with positive feedback – just like women, imagine that.  Most men really do want to have happy wives, but they don’t always know how to accomplish that task.  Most men would like to lead their families, but they may not know what that looks like and they may be too scared to try for fear of refection and criticism if they mess it up. They want to be admired and respected by the women in their lives.  They need to be allowed to be men and not be feminized into what God never intended them to be.   I, as a wife, need to learn my husband’s particular language so I can influence ( not nag or criticize or berate or manipulate) him to be everything that God intends him to be as a man and as a husband and as a father.  I have a very important role in his life and I need to fulfill that role.  When I do, he is more likely to get his needs met which means I am more likely to get mine met as well.  It’s a win-win situation, but the change really starts with me.  I need my PhD. in hubby.  I need to be the wife he needs so he can be the husband I need. 

Ok, I’m not doing this book the justice it deserves.  It was very eye-opening, very convicting, very affirming, and quite humorous at times.  I highly recommend it for new wives, married-for-awhile wives, engaged women and even single women who hope to be married.  I won’t take long to read, but it is chock-full of great insight and information.


2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. A Proverbs 31 Wife
    Aug 07, 2012 @ 14:55:03

    Was that book free? Is there a link you can give me? It sounds really good.


  2. heavensdaughter
    Aug 07, 2012 @ 20:08:14

    Unfortunately, this is one I actually bought. I wanted to read it badly enough to do so. You can find it on Amazon or on Barnes and Noble.


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