The “S” Word

Yep, it’s time for more discussion on the dreaded “S” word.  Submission. 

I’ve been reading a few other blogs that have in some cases touched directly on the idea, and in others have merely flitted around it.  But it’s all come down to some common denominators. 

Leading is for men.  Don’t shoot me yet!  It’s what they were created to do.  Some, obviously do it better than others.  And yes, women are certainly capable of leading.  I know all the arguments about “I’m a single mom so I  have no choice but to lead my family”, “My husband couldn’t lead his way out of a paper bag, so I have no choice but to lead my family”, “If I let my husband lead we’d be bankrupt and on the street in a month”.

None of that takes away from the fact that men were created to lead.  Those crazy brain patterns we women fuss about all the time are actually better setup to lead.  That leaves submission, or following to us.  And when we embrace that we do it beautifully.

I read a post comparing submission in a marriage to a couple dancing.  When the man led and the woman relaxed and followed, the dance was beautiful and graceful.  But, when the woman questioned the man’s moves or resisted his leading, the dance was choppy, ugly…and some one was bound to trip. 

Another post talked about a young woman leaving her father’s house and moving to her new husband’s.  The young woman had to figure out how to throw off the mantle of her father and take on her husbands dreams and visions for their life.  She struggled with the question of  “What about what I want?”.  But, in the end gathered her husbands dream to herself and put herself in a position to help him achieve that dream by submitting herself to him.

Now, the first instance is easy.  It makes submission seem not so bad somehow.  But, the second one is harder.  Many women struggle with the “What about what I want” questions.  But, even the second woman chose the dance.  She chose to trust her husband’s leading and follow.  She chose to go his direction instead of her own, and so their dance is growing in gracefulness and beauty.

Sometimes, submission is a piece of cake.  Sometimes submission is an hourly determination of our will.  Usurping our husband’s authority and leadership will never work out well.  It is his job and he will be held accountable for it.  Flip side, we will be held accountable for our submission or lack thereof.  I’m  not talking about condemnation, I’m talking about answering for how we’ve lived out our salvation.  That whole burning up the straw and hay thing.

Don’t worry, I’m still working this stuff out myself.  But I’m seeing so many positive things happening when I consciously choose to submit in those areas where maybe I haven’t before or haven’t even realized I needed to submit. My husband is happier and that’s a cool thing all by itself.

So, in the words of a country singer “I hope you dance!”


1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. J
    Jun 05, 2009 @ 19:16:54

    I am glad to know, though, that submitting to Dave is what God has called me to…not all men. 🙂 Oh-and then there is that thing about “submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ…” It is interesting that submission is only called for when some one or something has to give.


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